The overarching principle is to dress like the giant kindergartener I in fact am. But this is easier said than done. Here are ten rules that help me live up to that ideal:
(1) Maximize number of colors in outfit. Unless dressing in all one color, which is also great. Or in two colors alternating. Or all one color punctuated by another contrasting color somewhere in there. Actually the possibilities for greatness here are unlimited.
(2) Hairy legs on mammals are not gross, even though people will stare at them. It is good to cultivate indifference to this.
(3) On the other hand, some regulation by discomfort is ok. For example, I will not expose my belly button in public. Taylor Swift and I on the same page here.
(4) Heels are gorgeous but impractical. What if I need to run away? I content myself with admiring them on others.
(5) Makeup feels like wearing another face on my face, so I keep my face “unclothed.” But I have a natural advantage: glasses.
(6) Fitted clothing looks better on me than I tend to think it does. True of most women, we tend to judge by wrong standards.
(7) Layers worn under dresses—leggings or tights, turtlenecks, socks—great for upping color quotient. Also, it’s sometimes possible to wear two dresses on top of each other for double awesomeness.
(8) Pattern clash is fun to inflict on people, it is free attention. More generally: always be more interesting than my clothes, and keep the bar high by wearing really interesting clothes.
(9) Synthetic fabrics overheat me and wool is itchy and belts/tight waistbands give me stomachaches so I usually avoid those things. Comfort and fashion can coexist.
(10) Always compliment fabulous outfits when I see them in the wild, even if just a stranger passing in the street. People do not find this creepy they love it.